The Only Heated Outdoor Cat Shelter: According to HS, this shelter keeps your cat warm in the winter and cool in the summer. “There is no reason for your little feline friend to ever go in your house,“ says the manufacturer. So I have a question: Why do you have a cat?
The Handcrafted Hippopoptamine: This is a huge handcrafted sofa that is the same size and shape as an actual hippo, complete with head and tail. HS says it took 400 hours for the artist to complete the project, which is why this monstrosity costs $95,000. If you are a big fan of this enormous creature, a real one is only $82,500.
The Darth Vader Pancake Maker: The state-of-the-art thermostat ensures that each pancake or waffle will be a golden brown and cooked in the shape of Darth Vader. But be warned: Breakfast guests will say their waffle is a little Chewie.
The Single-handed Barber: The typical affluent HS shopper will love the idea of giving himself a haircut. On the Internet, buyers comment it’s a great product but requires practice. Who do you practice on? Don’t worry, if you have compliant children to humiliate, the kit includes include two baseball caps.
The Electric Kazoo: Just when you thought that the world’s most annoying musical instrument couldn’t get any worse, the folks at HS electrified it. Apparently they partnered with the last kazoo manufacturer left in the United States, but this idea should pretty much finish them off, too.
The Instant Portable Soccer Game: Introduce your children to this international sport with two portable nets and regulation-size balls. Teach them the rules, how to move the ball down the field and how to start a small neighborhood riot when the game is over.
Finally, the Table-Top Fireplace: provides all the sights and sounds of a real fire, but the whole thing is 100% fake—the perfect gift for your friend who is romancing that cute blow-up doll.